Eye contact

Hey, you. yeah, you.

If you're going to stare, stare at these.

This is the best thing i've got going on right now.

Bras

Why is it, when you have small boobs, it's fun to shop for a bra, but when you have large boobs, it's this terrible, time-consuming, heart-wrenching experience?

Bras as accessories (for small boobs) are so cute. Like, AA-B cups.

They're different colors, with lace and all that crap.

Bras that are FUNCTIONAL, as in, there will be an incident if I do not wear a bra, are ugly.

If I don't wear a bra...

They're all beige or white or black. And, they're kept in boxes.

Girls with big boobs know what I'm talking about.

You see a cute bra, you say, "aww, that's cute..."

what's the next thing out of your mouth?

"...and, it would cover my nipple. Next."

when I finally find one with a tag that says it's the right size, it's not over.

Somehow, most bras have this power to take nice, round boobs, and fashion them into torpedos. No thank you.

I HATE fitting rooms...3 mirrors...holy hell.

So now I just make my son put a cup on his head. If it fits, I buy it.

Cookies?? No, burrito!

I tried using the Chipotle app the other day, but I got a message that my browser does not support cookies.

I was like, "I don't care about cookies, I just want a delicious burrito!"

Black Wii

Guys everywhere are wishing they had a black Wii.

And so are their girlfriends.

They made an Asian Wii, it fits in your pocket.

Pursuing Comedy

I've actually wanted to be a comic for a long time. I decided about 7 years ago that I would try it.

Then, I met my husband, crushed all my hopes and dreams...you know how that goes.

But then I left my husband, and here I am!

"I like this" on facebook

how lazy are we? on facebook you don't even have to type "I like this!" it's a one-click thing. And, it's very non-committal. If someone posts "We are getting keys to our new place in 2 weeks, who can help us move?" click "I like this" to show your support without actually volunteering to help.

actors in antidepressant commercials

why do they need actors to portray people sitting there, looking depressed?