Compliment

"telling you how to give a blow job is like telling Picasso how to paint."

just don't tell my husband. not that I don't want him to know I'm cheating, I don't want him to know I give amazing blow jobs. He'll want more.

Difference between younger and older guys

I've noticed an interesting difference between younger and older guys when they have sex.

young guys spend kind of a lot of time getting undressed. More specifically, they spend a lot of time having you undress them. It's like they see their junk as a gift you're unwrapping...make you wait a little bit to get to it just to make the "wow" factor that much bigger.

old dudes though, they just strip down and jump into bed. They don't waste ANY time. They know it's a gamble that the girl can lose interest at any time, so once they get the "ok" they're all business.

so to get to that, we don't have time to give you the full tour , we want to get downtown before you decide to close the store on us

it's not "show time" it's "go time"

old junk is ugly, they don't want us to look.

Julie Lite

"No, I've always mostly liked you. I just didn't like that 50 lbs of you."

How NOT to use a dating site

on dating sites, viewing profiles of people who have viewed you

seems like a great idea at first. but think it about it for 5 more seconds: these people viewed you, and didn't do anything. they don't like you. don't embarrass yourself.